In his recent BBC programme Teens in Care , Joe Swash explored the stories of teenagers in care, focussing on children aged 16 and over and what happens to them when they reach 18 and leave care.
According to Stats Wales over 56% of children in care in Wales are of secondary school age.
Like all young people and teenagers, they are going through a challenging stage in life and can benefit hugely from being part of a fostering family.
In this blog, we’ll look at the reasons why 4 fostering families in Mid and West Wales have chosen to foster older children and share why they find caring for teenagers rewarding.
teens rewarding, really?
Fostering a teenager can bring real challenges, but it also brings huge rewards.
Whatever their past experiences, older children can benefit hugely from the stability, support and care of a foster family at this crucial time.
A foster carer can help them deal with their emotions, build their confidence, develop practical life-skills, encourage them to attend school of college and support their transition into adulthood and independence.
“You can achieve positive outcomes which are very rewarding.”
Mandy and Neil Balfe, Pembrokeshire
teenagers need foster care for the same reasons as younger children
Teenagers are in care for the same reasons as younger children – to keep them safe. They may have suffered neglect, abuse or loss. If anything, they are even more in need of the support, guidance and love provided by consistent carers at a challenging time in their lives.
Providing a nurturing home, routines and boundaries can have long-lasting benefits at a time when, like any other teenager, they are having to make important decisions about their future. If you can empathise and see beyond their behaviour to understand how they are feeling, you can help them to overcome those anxieties and frustrations.
“They have a greater insight into their own wellbeing and we find it much easier to develop their independence and encourage positive life choices.”
Emma and Jo Johnstone, Carmarthenshire
teenagers are more independent
Older children and teenagers are more independent, can care for themselves and are generally in fulltime education or training so need less hands-on supervision than younger children. This means you can make a real difference to the lives of young people while continuing to work.
“Older children and teenagers do so much more for themselves. With younger children you have demands 24/7.They have more understanding of what going on in their lives and can sometimes see the positives of being in care.”
Mandy and Neil, Pembrokeshire
teens fit our family
You may be worried about the negative impact a young person might have on your own children and family but have you thought about how your children will benefit from being part of a fostering family?
Fostering teenagers can have a positive impact on your own children and family dynamics.
Your children will learn important life skills, develop empathy and emotional intelligence, team working, and go on become foster carers themselves. It can be difficult at times, but many children from fostering families, say that they have enjoyed, and learned a lot, from being part of a fostering family and teenagers you welcome into your home often have a positive influence.
One couple from Pembrokeshire who started fostering in 2007 whose daughter was born the following year believe fostering has been very beneficial for her.
“She is very caring towards others and takes other children under her wing. She would like to foster when she’s older and considers the young person who has been with us for the last 4 years, as her sister”.
Foster carers, Pembrokeshire
“It complements our family life as we have young grandchildren. Our foster child is adored by them!”
Emma and Jo, Carmarthenshire
teens are not beyond help
As a foster carer you can help shape a young person’s outlook and make sure they have every opportunity to fulfil their dreams. Whether that means helping them with life skills to boost their independence or guiding them through college applications or job interviews, you can play a vital role at a critical stage in their life.
They may just want to enjoy a Sunday lunch round the dinner table or a pampering session, something they may not have had before.
“Caring for a child of secondary school age has many benefits for us. We can introduce them to sports and activities that are fun and adventurous both with us and in the community!”
Emma and Jo, Carmarthenshire
“Despite the many challenges we face we still enjoy it and try to give it 100%.”
Mark and Vicky, Pembrokeshire
you can see them starting their own lives
Whatever their past experiences, a stable and safe family environment can make all the different to the lives of young people and can be extremely rewarding.
By the time their reach 18, you will have guided them through a critical time in their life.
You can keep in touch as they get a job, get stuck in at college, graduate and star a family of their own.
You can be a consistent and constant support in their life and a safe person to turn to.
“One young man we looked after is now 26. He phones or texts nearly every day and comes and visits. He taught himself a trade, has a wife and two children and has a wonderful life. He has been like a son and we are so proud of what he has achieved. They visited a few weeks ago which was lovely. They left to travel back home and I got a phone call to stay that they’d broken down in the middle of Brecon and didn’t have any money. It was my pleasure to help him and I will help him for the rest of my life because he is a part of us.”
Chris, Ceredigion
“Even though the young man who has been part of our family for 6 years still causes us concerns on occasion, we continue to love and support him. He will remain part of our family and continue to receive the love and support that he needs until he is ready to become totally independent in life.”
Mark and Vicky, Pembrokeshire
you can help a teenager
You don’t need to have been a parent yourself to foster a teenager to guide a child through this crucial period in their lives. If you have worked with or volunteered which children, you could make a difference to them. Providing a listening ear, stability, advice and guidance can give them the foundation on which to build better futures.
Help them to:
- Learn important, practical and emotional skills needed for later life
- Share their feelings or worries, to help them make sense of them
- Support their achievements in education at school, college or guide them to study at university or further education
- Develop hobbies and interests
- Learn vital life skills, complete their first job application or manage their money
- Develop their confidence to help them organise and stabilise their lives
- Reach their full potential.
If you live in Pembrokeshire, and would like to find out more about fostering older children and teenagers send us a message and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Alternatively, call us on 01437 774650 for a friendly chat.
If you live elsewhere in Wales, visit the Foster Wales website, where you can find all the necessary information about fostering and contact details for your local authority fostering service.
